Relationship Goodwill — Are You Running Low?

Relationship Goodwill is an interesting abstraction we can use to think about an important, yet invisible, part of relationships. Relationship Goodwill is present (or lacking) in every single relationship between two people. Significant others, friends, acquaintances, enemies, family members, co-workers — you name it. If it’s a relationship between two people, Relationship Goodwill is part of it.

I like to look at Relationship Goodwill as a reserve of energy that helps cover the bad times in a relationship. Every negative experience or event will withdraw from this reserve of energy. Minor events take a small withdrawal of Goodwill to cover or resolve them. Major events require a massive withdrawal of Goodwill.

Relationships fray and/or die when Relationship Goodwill runs out. Another way of saying this is: relationships die when you can’t deal with another person’s bullshit anymore. It can be one-sided or mutual, but at the end of the day, the Goodwill is gone.

While Goodwill levels fluctuate over time, it’s important to be wary of your withdrawals. If you truly value a relationship, it should not run low. It’s your job, maybe even responsibility, to invest in relationships and maintain Goodwill.

So, how much are you withdrawing? And are you depositing enough to cover your withdrawals?